Yeah... so, this weekend was fun, and very depressing at the same time.

It made me realize how out-of-contact and out-of-the loop I have become with all my friends. And how absolutely alone we are out here in the boonies. EVERYBODY else from WCF has kept connected and does stuff. I haven't. Jake and Paul both graduated a while ago, and are headed off to Scotland. Stupid me haden't even talked to either in more than a year!!

The only time in my whole life I've ever felt like I fit in somewhere was at Tech, and specificaly at WCF. Growing up sucked. High School was absolutely horrible, I've blocked it from my memory. But WCF was great. I FIT IN for the first time (and only time) in my life! I could make jokes where the punchline is "It dosen't matter where you put the zeros: if the poles are in the left-half plane, the system is unstable" and (most) people understand the joke!! I had people I could play Dungeons and Dragons with!! I could hang out with people who at least pretended to like me!

But now I live in the boonies. We don't have any friends. We know some people, but they are acquiantences, not friends. Most people I work with have CHILDREN my age. I'm just about the only one in my building, and the only one in my department that has not been working here 30+ years! I just don't fit in.

I realize that most of the problem is me: I don't have internet at home (dialup doesn't count as internet) and I am complety inept at this stupid blog, if anybody reads it. I will be better about communicating with people. I don't want to feel left out again. I felt left out my ENTIRE life up until Tech, it is not going to happen again.

Other WCF-ers graduated and are still-in-the-loop, but not me. Nobody has come to visit (and I can't blame them) but we haven't been back very much. This weekend just reminded us on how alone we are out here.

Goals: update blog 1 time/week.
Get on AIM more than once per year.
Go to some foosball games in the fall, even if we can't get tickets.
Don't feel left out and alone anymore.